Via Zoom: 14 participants, 8 regrets

A. Welcome

• Indu welcomed members and reviewed agenda items. Apologies to all who could not join due to Zoom difficulties.

B. Discussion: Decision-making at different stages of life – building relationships, combatting loneliness

• Suresh spoke to how decision making may need to change as we enter into the later stages of life. In this stage there may be serious and difficult decisions you have to make, especially for the time when you may not be able to make your own decisions due to physical or mental health challenges. At this point, you may be dependent upon your children/family/friends to make decisions on your behalf or implement the decisions you may have made earlier in your life (e.g.: implementation of will, implementing living will decisions you have made, end of life care, moving to nursing home).
• Suresh also spoke to situations where rifts occur and seniors end up isolated from their children/family/friends over how they want to make decisions for the latter stage of their life. She asked participants to discuss factor/habits/decision making processes that people use that either help build and nurture relationships and those factors/habits/decision making processes that actually create rifts. She also shared the challenging lives the next generation has and how difficult it is sometimes for them to take care of parents. There was fulsome discussion re: decision making to maintain control, quality of life, differences of children’s lifestyles and their concerns re:parents and what help they can give. 
• Many talked about  accepting life changes being flexible  with decision , consulting with children before making decision . Participants underlined that it is really important to be open to the different believes and values the next generation has and not be judgemental and continue to build good communication habits where frank conversations can take place. Discussion also took place on Indian cultural values regarding taking care of parents in the traditional way and how this is extremely challenging where we live today, especially for the younger generation. Having affairs in order as well all children being aware of wishes, wills, end of life, living will. The key for many was that last act in raising children is to not leave affairs in such a way that children fight with each other but continue to have good sibling relations.

C. Report on Fundraising

• Rekha was unable to log in so Indu updated fundraising  both for Christmas and 2023.
• Rekha and Archna are busy with gifts for women and 19 children at Interval House. Our members have donated funds for this.

D. Social

Archna moderated the last part of meeting and asked members to share jokes. Renuka and Made sang beautiful songs.

E. Future Meetings

As many members have requested change in day of meetings, beginning from February 2023 we will have meetings on the 4th Saturday of the month.

Note the dates for upcoming meetings:

• 14 January
• 25 February
• 25 March
• 22 April
• 27 May
• 23 June

I hope COVID and respiratory infections fall and we can return to in-person meetings.

~ Indu Gambhir, Chair ICCC-SNOW